Monday, December 29, 2008

Jonny B. Goode

Jonny B. Goode was a good race horse,
He did what he was told,
He was worked to the bone,
He ran and ran, and ran some more,
But he did this all to make his owner happy,
But his owner was dead and old and cold,
And treated old Jonny pretty crappy,
But old Jonny B. Goode gave it his all,
Until that one fatal fall.

Old Jonny B. Goode was getting ready for his biggest race,
At the Kentucky Derby,
The owner came in when Jonny was in a good practice pace,
And he said:
"Jonny you better win this event,
or you are eternally spent
and I am sending you to the glue factory."
Jonny knew what that meant,
When there was glue,
There was no more you.

Jonny B. Goode was ready to go,
There was no way he could be slow,
When the race started the crowd started chanting:
Go go
Go Jonny go
Go Jonny go
Go Jonny go
Go Jonny go
Jonny B. Goode

Jonny was almost done,
He would have won,
If not for that fall,
His legs broke,
And old Jonny had a stroke.

Later on at the farm,
Jonny B. Goode was looking around,
He was in all casts,
He knew he was at his lasts,
He gave a final plea,
"There's gotta be something you can do for me.
You can bring me to a farm or a petting zoo."
The owner said:
"There's nothing I can do.
We had a deal.
Maybe to God you can appeal.
Maybe you thought I was being funny.
I was not.
You can't make me more money.
So now you must go."
Jonny saw the white glue truck,
He knew he was eternally fucked.

*Ha Pat I can make a poem that rhymes.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bubble Boy

I am the Bubble Boy whose bubble just burst,
I feel like I am sucker punched,
There's no oxygen, no air,
I am falling in crap,
In the happiness of my toilet,
Without my bubble,
I feel like I have no arms or legs,
I am just an amputated torso,
The bubble was lighter than air,
It made me rise higher than I ever was,
Even though it was mostly hot air,
It made me happy,
The bigger they are the harder they fall,
Without my bubble,
My pure conscience is infected with feelings of doubt, deception, and disrespect,
Now I am just a boy,
Who's a renegade runnning from his former self,
I am just a Torn Prince.

*Disclaimer: This is not an emo poem. There is no mention of blood, darkness, or death anywhere in the poem. So shut up Nick!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Darkness is the abyss of all life,
It is the prison in which all your loves and desires are held
Where your pressures are weakly held by a raging hellhound
Scratching, biting, clawing it plays with your heart, eats it, and spits it back out,
More wrangled and disgusting than before,
Darkness can consume you and then you become my mother, bitter and bitchy,
Darkness is very comforting as well,
It is the nice pat on the back that says, “Better luck next time.”
It is a sweet lullaby you can hear your parents sing,
It is the end to a bad day and the start of another,
Most prefer to sleep,
I prefer to stay awake and let the darkness embrace me like a warm blanket,
Without darkness, you would not have the tunnel or the light

Sincerely, Jon S.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


This is my formal thanking of God during Thanksgiving:

I thank God for my life
...for what I have and what I don't have
...for beauty, aesthetic and inner
...for the beautiful earth
...for the life I have led
...for my amiable personality
...for the capacity to love and to hate
...for the ability to die when my time is up
...for my friends and teachers
...for the capacity to forgive and forget
I thank God for everything I can't remember as well.
As told by Thales Bellucci
Sincerely, Jon S.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Here Is a Place That Is No Place, And Here Is No Place That Is a Place

The title is the first and second lines of the poem MADHOUSE by Calvin C. Hernton. Once again I must thank Thales for writing this while I am on my electronics fast. On Thursday, I was still mentally preparing for my fast. I watched Forrest Gump because I knew wouldn't see it for a long time. It was amazing as always, but one part struck me more than usual, the part where Forrest ran from one side of the USA to the other. The running he said gave him hope and helped figure out his life. After the movie, I decided to take a walk myself. I don't run because running is for people who have places to go. So walking by myself at night, got me minorly depressed. I kept walking and then I saw my old elementary school. I decided to walk over there for no particular reason. I went on the playground and swung on the swings because those were my favorite when I was young. When I did that, I had a very spiritual experience. I "met" and "saw" young Jonathan who I believe is my spiritual core. It was a very metaphysical experience. You WOULD NOT understand. What I learned is that at heart, I am just a young child who wants to be loved. Before I left the playground, I started tearing up because I knew I would not need to go back. I left and kept walking, but I was still depressed. While I was walking some kid who knew me called to me. I think it may have been Tom Perry. That brought me out of my depression in a second. I realized right then and there that I really don't need anything else except the love and respect of my friends and hopefully girlfriend if it all works out well. After that I just walked to see how far I could go. I walked from one side of my neighborhood to the other. I walked for 2 and 1/2 hours. My feet were blue and I was tired, but it was all worth it.

As told by Thales, Sincerely
Jon S.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mental Preparation

Today is Wednesday and I am mentally preparing for my electronics fast. What most people don't really know is I am punished for this whole school vacation. I am punished for actually using the computer when I wasn't supposed to. (How ironic!) I should tell you the readers why I am doing this electronics fasting. It is truly to stop this addiction i have to electronics that most kids have nowadays. It is sick how today kids would be so lost without their electronic gadgets, toys, and other crap. I am an example. I'm not as bad as other kids, but I still get anxious when I don't check my e-mail. The 2nd main reason is if i do this electronic fasting I will "cut a huge puppet string" in my life. One of the many ways my mother controls me is through these electronic "privileges". If i do this, hopefully i will gain some desperately needed freedom. After Monday Thales Bellucci will be typing my blogs for me. What i will do is write my blogs on paper and give them to him and he will just type them for me. I thank Thales from the heart of my bottom. Just kidding. Truly he is a great person to know and a good friend as well. I'll see you on the other side.

Excelsior for now!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Whatever Happened to my Transylvania Twist?

That's from Monster Mash by Leonard Capizzi. It's officially 12:21, so its officially after Halloween. Halloween has been a weird holiday since my dad died. I used to go trick or treating with my dad with very conformist (yes I said it) and cliched costumes such as ninjas and prisoner outfits. After he died, going trick or treating was just different and it didn't feel good to go out trick or treating. Nowadays I put on funny costumes (such as my amazing rendition of a rabbi this year and my "jewdoo" doll) to see how people would react. I essentially was trying to "rock the boat." I still didn't go out for trick or treating though. I did carve a pumpkin though, which was fun. I did watch some Twilight Zone episodes in complete darkness which was eerily creepy. Its just not as much fun as it used to be.

Ciao for now

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Brain Trust

Today I shall be talking about my Brain Trust. FDR had one and so do I. Its basically 6 friends of mine who help me out with advice when I need it. I can usually think for myself, but if there's a life lesson I don't know, they're there. These people are Thales, Dennis, Rafael, Vincent, and Pat Leccese. Whoops I meant 5 people! Those guys aren't my only friends though. For example, Matt Apploff and Dan Honan are good friends of mine, but i wouldn't want advice from them. Its nothing personal, I just wouldn't trust them with my problems.

Sayonara (I'm a fan of Japanese game shows.)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Helping People

Today I helped 3 people with their relationship problems. I gave them all good advice and hopefully it'll work out for them. It felt good to help those people out. I have forgotten about why I wanted to be a psychiatrist in the first place. Now I remember. It's not about the pride, glory, or money. (All good things by the way.) It's just about helping people less fortunate than yourself. It's about making at least a small difference in someone's life. I believe I did make a difference to the people I helped. It felt good to help those people. Really good.

Adieu Adieu to You and You and You (From Sound of Music)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

My Favorite Cartoons

These are my favorite cartoons:

Bugs Bunny: Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips

Felix the Cat: April Maze

Felix the Cat - April Maze - 1930 - The best free videos are right here

Bugs Bunny: Baseball Bugs

Bugs Bunny - Baseball Bugs - The best home videos are here

Shalom or שָׁלוֹם (peace be upon you in hebrew)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What's Up Doc?

I'm just going to put this out up front this is a rant about cartoons. I was watching the cartoons on Saturday on Channel 11 and I was disgusted. I hadn't watched Saturday morning cartoons in a few months because I would wake up too late or I had to do other things. I watched these so called "cartoons" and I was very displeased. There were no good shows on there at all. I remember better shows. I remember Animaniacs, I remember Scooby Doo, I remember Tom and Jerry, I remember them all. All I see nowadays is anime crap like pokemon, yu-gi-oh, and digimon. ABC used to have Bugs Bunny on it until Disney bought it now they show Hannah Montana and High School Musical and all of that garbage. WHERE IS MICKEY? Fox is a little better with the TMNT show they have, but nothing else is good. They have a show based on the video game Viva Pinata. There are a few simple reasons why cartoons are crap in the 21st century. First, everything is CGI and computer animated and not handdrawn. Handdrawn cartoons had more heart and soul in them. Next, is the anime craze I mentioned before. I think Japanese Anime creators know if they make an Anime show with characters that kids can collect, then their show will do well anyway even if there is basically no plot. Last, the FCC is also a reason cartoons suck today. The FCC made tv networks in the 1990's make cartoons have morals and be educational, so when cartoonmakers were making cartoons, they were focusing more on the message of the cartoon and less on the plot.
Old cartoons are kind of an eccentric hobby of mine. I love them because they are well made and the plots are excellent. If you want some good cartoons with plenty of surrealism watch Felix the Cat cartoons. They have no sound, but are amazing. They're like Charlie Chaplin movies but with an animated cat. Cartoons bring out an innocence in children that nonanimated shows could never do.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

How Could Hell Be Any Worse Part 2

I've been thinking and I understand why I dislike my mother so much. I don't think it's actually that my mother is a worker of the Devil like I said before, but for another reason. I actually see a lot of myself in my mother and that scares me. My mother tried so hard not to be like my grandfather, but inevitably she turned out just like him. She's impatient and tyrannical. I have said for so long that I don't want to be like my mother or my grandfather, but is it set in stone for me too. That is why I'm a little afraid to have kids of my own some day. Will I keep spreading the sick psychological menace of the Sweig family? I don't know, but we'll have to see.

Take It Easy

Friday, October 17, 2008

My Funny OBHS Door Idea!


Anyway, if you want to see the full image just click on it. It is just a funny thing. Mr. Salisbury asked us to draw an idea for his door. I started drawing and I accidentally got a propaganda high. Its kind of like pot or crack without the drugs. I started drawing propaganda and I could not stop. That is why I'm calling Sayreville and East Brunswick Communists, KKK members, and that they have Weapons of Mass Destruction. There are also frogs, locusts, and the Angel of Death from the 7 Plagues attacking Sayreville and East Brunswick.

Stay Strong!

The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost!

That's actually a quote by Malcom X if anyone is interested. The reason I say this is because my jewish orthodox aunt is getting a Get. A get is a jewish divorce document. Divorces rarely happen to orthodox jews because they basically cant afford it and it is morally frowned upon. Thats basically why I'm against matchmaking and online dating websites. My aunt got her first and second husbands chosen by a matchmaker. Matchmakers are basically women over 40 who have no special skills except for meddling and messing with people's lives. Many of these matchmakers actually believe they are helping people! Online dating sites aren't much better. They use the halo effect to gain ignorant people to give up money. The halo effect is when you hear something's good, then you automatically assume its good. For example, if a pizza place says its the best in New York, you are going to try the pizza and even if it tastes like shit, you will think it tastes really good. Its the same with online dating sites. They promise Prince Charming, so even if a single woman goes out on a date with a medium guy she will think the guy is like Prince Charming. I believe this is what happened to my mother. She went on a dating site and met a guy named Joe. Because the site promised true love, she is now in love with him. Joe is the most boring man I have ever met and a Conservative Republican. I don't know if it was the halo effect that got my mother to "fall in love" or that Joe was so boring that he became my mother's bitch.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My 3 Day Weekend

I don't have lyrics about my 3 Day weekend, but whatever. Saturday was fun because I went to a Bar Mitzvah of a kid named Matthew Trujillo. The service wasn't long, only an hour and five minutes. My Bar Mitzvah was not so good. It was right after my dad died and it was at least 3 hours long. I'm digressing. The party was almost fun too. Notice how I said ALMOST. Mat is friends with this small Jewish kid from his school. This kid gave me a theory. The bigger the nose, the more annoying the Jew. This kid had a nose that took up 1/2 his body. It was bulbous. He works in my theory because he was as annoying as sweaty man testicles. He kept telling me he could kill me. Even if I didn't do karate, he couldn't even touch me. Next, comes the part about the Robot dance I had to do with Mat. (I should get pictures of me doing the dance soon.) He and I both had to practice it so we didn't look like complete retards. We're practicing it in another room of the building and this kid with the nose asks us if we were MASTURBATING with each other. The food was good and I was able to persuade Mat to drop that Jew and get other friends.
Sunday was just a weird day for me. My mother, her boyfriend, and I went up to visit my grandmother and see my father's gravestone. First, we saw my dad's grave and we said Jewish death prayers. When we were going to other family graves, we saw a gigantic peregrine falcon perched on an old gravestone. It looked like this:
I truly think this majestic bird was sent down from God or my Father. The falcon and I stared at each other for a few seconds and I thought we had some sort of connection. Then my mother and her boyfriend and were talking loudly and they scared the falcon away. I thought of the peregrine falcon all the way home from Upstate new York.
Monday was kind of boring. I worked on an AP Government & Politics project for two hours at the library. Then I saw the movie Body of Lies with my friend Matthew Apploff. the movie was good, but kind of long and drawn out.


Friday, October 10, 2008

In the Open Graves Where the Jews Lay

This is from Belsen was a Gas by the Sex Pistols. I really don't like the Sex pistols much but it was one of the few songs about the Holocaust I could find with good lyrics. I was just thinking about coming home from school today on the bus. A small white kid on the bus was saying he was a white supremacist and that he would light me on fire and burn me at any chance he could. I won't state this boy's name because he may have been kidding. It was funny, but scary at the same time. I don't love the Jewish people that much, but I hate white supremacists. They scare the shit out of me. Hitler got dangerously close to conquering the world and killing all the Jews. I don't believe a second Holocaust can happen again, but I wouldn't want to take any chances.

See You Later Alligator (That's a 60's good bye.)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

More A Question Than A Curse: "How Could Hell Be Any Worse?"

That's from Los Angeles is Burning by Bad Religion. It's another punk selection for my blog. Talking to Thales today made me think about why my mother is such a horrible bitch and why I had to have her as my mother.My first theory was that before I was born my eternal soul made some sort of Faustian deal or pact with the Devil and my mortal body has to pay the price. In this sense, my mother is just a tool for the Devil to permanently screw me over. She will be my permanent ball and chain until either of us dies. The funny thing was I was talking about this in Mrs. Fischer's English Class. She told me I was kind of scaring her. I can't imagine what Parent-Teacher Conferences are going to be like.
Mrs. Fischer:"Mrs. Steinklein your son has a good A- average but talks about making pacts with the Devil."
Another thought was maybe there is actually reincarnation and I'm being punished for sins I did in the past by being given this horrible mother.
Last thought is maybe where I am now is actually Hell and my mother is my punishment. There are some people who think Hell isn't a hot place; they think hell would be suited to what you hate most. What do I hate most? My mother!

Have a Nice Day! (Like Bon Jovi!)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

We Are Born With A Chance!

This is from Rise Above by Black Flag. I just wanted to prove I listen to punk as well as heavy metal and classic rock. They are right in the song though. In America, we are born with a chance. It's called Education. I know I kind of sound like an old, conservative fart, but education is the great equalizer. A poor, intelligent person can have the same opportunities as a middle class or wealthy, intelligent person; if he plays his cards right. But you're saying WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! What about mentally retarded and special ed kids? They aren't going to have the same opportunities as a smarter person, but at least they have a chance to get a real job with a good salary. That's why I'm against homeschooling. Have you seen how those kids act? They are socially inept weirdos. My taekwondo instructor took in a class of homeschoolers to make extra money. Those kids don't walk or talk right. I don't think you have to become a bureaucrat if you have an education. My aunt was going to help starving Africans after college, but had a nervous breakdown and was put in a mental hospital. That kind of shows my point, but I thought the story was kind of funny.

Have a good one.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I Did it My Way!

That's from My Way by Frank Sinatra. This is the final ruling on the conformist argument. I may do conformist things sometimes, but I do things my way. I try not to go by other's standards. Here's to Greg and Dennis: I'M NOT SHAVING MY EYEBROWS!


Sunday, October 5, 2008

If the sky that we look upon...

Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

That was from Stand by Me by Ben E. King and the Drifters. I don't know I'm feeling depressed today. I am writing this at 1:14 AM. It is barely today. I am depressed because I am kind of lonely. I am looking for the cheese to my mac, the yin to my yang, the bonnie to my clyde. I could go further. I guess you could say i am looking for a girlfriend. The problem is I really dont know if i look good or not. People everywhere say I look good, bad, disgusting, great, and other contradictory statements. My self-esteem is like marble cake at the moment. If you know about marble cake in every slice there is always a different amount of vanilla and chocolate. I do like a girl, but I am completely scared of embarassing myself and being rejected. That probably stems from me being bullied a lot in elementary school. I was a complete nerd and jew to boot. For an example, one day all the kids in my 5th Grade class put their fingers up in a cross position as if I was the devil. That upset me a lot. Also I'm thinking about my mortality. My father died at the age of 46, his mother (my grandmother) died at 46, hopefully you can see the pattern. They both died of cancer. I am just wondering when God's dart will hit me and I'll get cancer and die. Probably at age 46. If I die that young, then I'll have to ask myself "What's the point?"

Cherrio (That's British for goodbye.)

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I Watched the Dogs of War Enjoying Their Feast...

That lyric is from Hole in the Sky by Black Sabbath. It's a great song by the way. Let's talk about war baby. I personally am not against war. You're saying WHOA WHOA! What are you a Republican? No I'm not a Republican. Just listen up. Ants and chimpanzees have been fighting in interspecial wars before us. People have been fighting in wars for over 5000 years. I am a firm believer in the Malthusian Theory. This theory states that war happens when a population becomes too great for a country to handle and there are not enough resources for the population. Populations increase until they are decreased by war, disease, or famine. That's why there aren't as many wars today as there were in ancient times because we in the Western World have enough advances in agriculture to support bigger populations and birth control slows down poulation. That's why sometimes war is needed to lessen population and to even out bad blood. I would rather have someone die in a war they volunteered in, then a person who dies unvoluntarily to cancer or another bad disease. That was interesting.

Catch Ya Later (I'm doing new farewell phrases every blog.)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Fire is the Devil's Only Friend

From now on I will be using meaningful lyrics as blog titles. This is a lyric from American Pie by Don Mclean. Does the devil have any real friends?Apparently according to the Christian bible he has some companions, but he doesn't trust them. I'd think some Jewish lawyers were friends with the Devil. Ha Ha Ha! My mother is a but kissing conformist if anyone wanted to know. She plays this horrible Jewish music for her boyfriend's mother to make herself seem more Jewish during Rosh Hashanah. I have a B+ in Honors Chemistry. Yay me. I thought I was getting a C or worse.


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Quick Blog!

I don't have much time to type here so I'll just put down a joke:

Q: Why did man create god?
A: To get to the other side.

HA HA HA! I do believe in God or some omnipotent power, but I just thought it was a funny joke. It is based on the chicken crossing the road joke.


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Small Auto Biography of Me

This is for readers or people who don't know me well. The name is Jonathan, Jonathan Steinklein. I also go by Jon, Jono, Jewboy, Steinklein, Steiny, JJ, and other nicknames. I am 16 years old and in the Junior Year of Old Bridge High School. I am Jewish if you didn't know it already. I have done Taekwondo, which is a Korean form of Karate for 10 years and I am a 3rd Degree Black Belt. My dad died when I was 12 and that affected me a lot. My mother is a complete totaltiarian and bitch to boot. I want to be a psyhciatrist, psychologist, or sociologist when I am an adult. That is basically my life.

Monday, September 29, 2008

A doe A deer A Female Deer...

It doesn't make sense at all, but it gets the reader interested. Thales today had the testicles to call me a conformist just because i created a blog. You know what I said to him. I said I was not a conformist because of the dance I created. It's called Spaztron and it is kind of stupid. You just flail your arms around like a mentally retarded octopus. You know what's scary...Everyone's gonna be doing it in the next 10-20 years. Life was boring today. People say I'm funny, but I don't know if it is true or not. I guess it is because when I tell stories people burst out laughing. I'm gonna miss Karate today. I have to do fucking Jewish Rosh hashanah crap. Every christian at school gets two days off while I have to go to Temple for 5 hours. I gotta go.

Excelsior (It means ever upward in Latin. Just so you know.)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I'm A Little Bummed Out.

I just found out my favorite black metal band Celtic Frost broke up. I'm sad. Try out their album To Mega Therion. You haven't heard metal till you've heard that album.

I'm a Blog Virgin!

This is my first blog. Yahoo! I'm basically doing this because everyone else is doing it. I'm being a conformist. Shut Up! Just Shut Up! I know I'm being a conformist, but I can't be a nonconformist all the time. I took that from Billy Madison if anyone's interested. I basically hate my life. I am bored most of the time. Today I went to the Old Bridge Public library to work on a Sociology project. Sociology is my favorite class. I have Vincent Yeager sitting in back of me and Erica Wilkey in front of me. It is never dull. Mr. Bullalo, I don't know if I'm spelling it right, is the coolest teacher ever. My red fish named Red's bowl is getting dirty. It's starting to look like Auschwitz during WWII. I know it's a Holocaust joke, and I'm a jew, but I can do it because this is MY BLOG! Ya know what sucks, Paul Newman died today. I still hope he has his salad dressings they were good. I lied I don't eat salads. My next blog will be shorter I promise.

Excelsior ( I took that from Stan Lee. I'm kind of a geek.)