Thursday, October 25, 2012

Alaskan Chocolate Milk

One time I went up to Alaska for the winter.

One of the things I noticed there was,
Everyone drank chocolate milk.

They didn't drink soda or coffee or regular milk,
Only chocolate milk.

I asked them why,
They just said fuck off.

I thought there must be something magical,
In that Alaskan chocolate milk,
So I tried it.

It was nothing special,
Nothing great,
I actually think it was Nesquick.

There was something special about Alaskan chocolate milk though,
It made me smile through the cold.

So I drank chocolate milk all winter.

Chips Part 2

Another thing about chips is,
You have this phenomenon where,
People will bitch for days and days,
About how many chips are in a bag of chips.

I don't get it,
You'll accept rising gas prices,
Planned obsolescence,
Overbearing college loans.

But nope,
The ratio of air to chips is important.

Do bags of chips represent us,
Who we are as people?

Maybe we're all just bags of air,
With a few chips left inside.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Chips are that miscellaneous snack,

Chips and pretzels,

Pretzels and chips,

Grab, grab, grab, grab, grab,

You never know how many you have,

But it's never enough.

It's ok,
You'll go to the gym tomorrow.

You deserve this,
You had a rough day.


That kiddie crack,

You pop on your favorite show,

That slow smile spreads across your face,

You're in heaven.

Buildings may crumble,

People might perish,

Love may die,

It will slip through your fingers like jelly,

But there will always be chips.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Why am I not a butterfly,
Who only lives a day?

Why does work never end,
But happiness does?

Why do people park in driveways,
And drive in parkways?

Why would people invent time,
But  use it to enslave themselves?

Why does my cat,
Like my mother more than me?

Why doesn't God show himself?
That rat bastard.

Why can't food ever make me feel as good,
As a certain girl?

Why don't you answer my questions,
Why oh why oh why?

Because, Because, Because...

The pounding in my head,
Will never equal the pounding in my heart.